UnEasy Rider

my fuel pump went out on my car. had it towed to the garage who said it would be several hours, but offered to have the asst. manager give me a lift back to my house 7 miles away. cool.

or so i thought…

i’m 6’3″ and still had to hoist myself into his small penis compensating, 9-foot tall, truck. after 2 attempts, i finally got in. i reached over and buckled my seatbelt and when i turned back in my seat, he’d put on his “make america great again” red hat. fuck me.

it was a quiet ride, until i made the mistake of commenting on the guy walking on the wrong side of the road. i said “that boy’s gonna’ get hit. you’d think his momma would’ve taught him better.” to which he replied, “it’s because of all of this goddammned socialism!”

it was too late to pretend like i fell asleep, so i just remained silent. 7 miles. might as well have been 100 miles. longest. ride. ever. and…now he knows exactly where i live.

i thanked him for the ride, got out, and realized they had my keys. i forgot to get my fucking house key! fortunately, 14 years ago when i moved in, i put a spare key in one of those bolted security lock boxes that was hidden from eye’s view. although i’d completely forgotten i did that, i thanked jeebus that i did. however…it took me 10 tries to remember the code i would’ve used 14 years ago.

they offered to come get me to pick up my car, but i chose to take a cab instead.

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Sorry For This Hitler Post, But I Have Questions

did all the people with the last name “hitler” keep their names after the war? i mean, adolf couldn’t have been the only one with that last name.

are there people who changed their last name or kept it? are there businesses in germany with “hitler” as the company name…like “Hitler’s Daycare” or “Hitler’s Plumbing”?

i have questions…

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All These New Automated Car Features…

maybe i’m just getting old, but i don’t like my car making decisions for me when i’m driving it. auto braking if it senses a certain distance or object, steering for me if i barely move over the line for a second, etc.

how about we teach people how to fuk’n drive, pay attention, obey the laws, turn their phones off, etc. instead? my driving record (knock on wood) has been crystal clean for over 30 years, btw.

i do (sort of) like the rear-view camera monitors, but i think it would take me a long time to not use my eyes. i trust my own vision, thus far, although the rear-view camera might be an added benefit in case a small child is behind me that i can’t see.

i have difficulties sometimes parallel parking, so i’d love to test that feature to see if it sucks or actually does the job.

comment below with your thoughts….

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Documentaries Have Become Too Scary

i used to love documentaries about rosa parks’ life, etc., but now they all make me never want to touch water, eat anything, or leave my house. wtf happened? i don’t feel like i’m watching the propaganda ones, but they all end up telling me it’s over and i’m going to wake up dead.

i don’t want to bury my head in the proverbial sand, but lighten the fuck up and show some positive stuff sometimes!

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I Figured Out How To Fight & Kill Batman

was watching some batman movies recently (dark knight and batman begins) and noticed something…about a third of his face is exposed. no protection at all. all cheeks, chin, and complete mouth.

if batman ever came at me, i’d just aim for that part and stop hitting his armored suit parts like everyone else does. a shotgun blast to his mouth would pretty much end his career.

please comment below if you agree/disagree…

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Publisher’s Clearing House Math Makes No Sense. Does It To You?

some finance sites say that publisher’s clearing house (pch) made about 106M last year (so this post assumes that those figures are accurate)…but they claim to give away tens of millions a year. are they just the nicest people in the world to give away most of their profits or is it a total scam? i just don’t understand how they can be giving away such a HUGE portion of their profits like that? they’re not a charity organization or philanthropists (that i’m aware of)…so what am i missing here?

they’ve got many offices across the nation, so their operating/payroll/etc. costs must be quite high, as well.

not trying to bad-mouth them or discourage people from entering…i just want answers 🙂

please comment below…

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Defending Myself (Yourself) In Court? Been Studying/Memorizing For 4 Months. I Might Give It A Go Against Someone.

in my opinion (and from what many google searches have said), bank of america fucked me over and continues to do so. i can’t stop them…i’m a drop in their ocean. i sincerely believe with all of my heart that (right at the EXACT time the mortgage stuff collapsed along with our economy) they sold me a predatory loan. i had zero clue what it meant (or eventually would mean). (the answer is financial disaster and loss of well over 100k, i think).

because there’s no money in it for the lawyers, it seems they’re all very busy right now. i tried “free” legal organizations, but nothing. so then i thought…is it a dumbass thing to attempt to file a civil suit against a giant like boa and also be your own lawyer? what’s the old phrase? “anyone who defends himself has a fool for a lawyer”.

then i googled “defending yourself in civil court” and got a myriad of quality information. some very detailed. but they all did say one constant: if you lose, you lose your case, what you were suing for (or to keep), and you have to pay all of boa’s attorney fees, court costs, and jesus christ himself will come down and make you give him one million dollars. (cash only…he’s like that.)

if i won (and the judge was cool), i’d ask him/her to say “you’re out of order, mr. mcnulty!” so i can do the famous court bit most know. after everyone’s left, of course haha

also, i really, really, really, need the judge to be a sassy, black, lady. not only will i feel like i have a fair and impartial judge, but we can also do the sassy, black lady head roll when bank of america says some bullshit and we catch ’em on it.

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How To Eat Cap’n Crunch Peanut Butter Cereal (With Minimal Damage)

eating cap’n crunch peanut butter cereal is all about the timing…

when you put the milk in, always poor to the bottom (not all over all the pieces)…then you eat the ones hit with milk first. give it just a moment to soften enough (but not too much).

it really is the timing.

once you find your groove, you’ll be printing out online coupons for more boxes.

they were recalled a few months ago, but they say they’ll be back 🙂

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Weird Info (Please Help?)

i just learned that by having blog comment shows google that your site is engaging enough to get you closer to that glorious first page.

so please comment on as many blog posts that you want! 🙂

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Cooking Time Fail

i was supposed to nuke the lasagna for 12 minutes. unknowingly, i typed in something digital that neil degrasse tyson couldn’t understand.

fortunately, i walked by and noticed the really, really long time remaining and stopped it. but here’s the caveat…how long was it in there? how much longer would it need?

i hate to admit it, but since lasagna has to be cooked perfectly, it went to the violent death of the garbage disposal. it didn’t’ deserve that for my own stupidity.

thank god it was on sale, though.

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Meeting New People

it’s difficult meeting new people for most. i’ll talk anyone. don’t give a fuk. but (very quickly) you tend to run out of things to talk about. this is because it’s hard to reminisce with someone you don’t know.

“hey man…remember that time a few seconds ago when i walked up and said i liked your shoes?”

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The “C” Word.

whether you like it or not, the word “cunt” is in our vernacular. i’ve always listened to arguments against my using the word. (i don’t use it often…either for dark humor or as an actual name i’m calling someone like “kim davis”.

men don’t seem to care, but women flock to the battlefield on this one.

please comment below your opinion if it can be used, any caveats, etc.


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Who’s Watching The Organic Stuff? And Is Anyone Watching Them, Too?

organic products have obviously begun their boom into every store. i’m sure there’s a site on google that gives reviews and info. lazy, but wondering.

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“maude” and “the jeffersons” (two of my favorites) were spinoff shows from “all in the family”.

in case you didn’t know. ok, i’m bored….

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Onomatopoeia Childhood (Original “Adam West” Batman TV Show)

batman was one of my favorite tv shows. during fight scenes it used a lot of onomatopoeia by splashing words on the tv screen…like “POW!” and “BOOM!” maybe that was there way of getting around the censors for violence? regardless, it became an icon.

i bet they saved a lot of footage and editing doing that. plus, it was weirdly cool.

(i should buy one of those subscription sites where i can use any of their images without copyright issues.)

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If You Know, Let Me Know (Loud Ad/App Ad Sounds)

when some of my apps show me an ad, the ad will somehow be substantially louder than my low-set phone volume. i’ve noticed many times on the web, too.

if you know what causes it (and a possible fix?), please post below.


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Naming Marijuana — Who Gets The Honor?

who gets to name the strain? the creator, the ceo, everyone votes, ???

i’m way too lazy to google it, just leave your theory or knowledge in the comments section below 🙂

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