it was triple coupon day at one of my grocery stores. the mistake i made was a valuable lesson. don't go at 8pm, because *everything* is gone. i hope there's video of me and the little old lady not letting go of the last gallon of milk. i hit her with her oxygen tank and ran.
— Big Gay Al ? (@allenmcnulty) January 3, 2020
i almost won the lottery, but none of my numbers matched.
this cracked me up.
i wish i could video edit like this.
i called the butterball hotline this morning. they are NOT a sex hookup line. i know this now.
(follow me on twitter!) this is my ode to the brilliant movie “airplane” 🙂
had to call my cat from the emergency room:
me: hello, butter? i'm in the hospital.
cat: oh no! what is it?
me: it's a big building with lots of doctors and sick people, but that's not what's important right now.
me: hello? is this thing on?
— Big Gay Al ?? (@allenmcnulty) September 23, 2019