On Being Somewhat Tall

i’m just under 6’3″ tall and here are just some of my experiences:

* anytime i’m at a store (mostly grocery stores) a minimum of one person will inevitably ask me to get stuff off the top shelf for them. i don’t mind at all, i expect it after 53 years of being asked, and i’m happy to help 🙂

* getting into and out of small cars (or very low ones) is a chore, plus my head remains seated against the roof unless i sit funny. getting out is the worst. i have to organize and plan a strategy for that particular vehicle, which always results in: legs on ground first and then put my left hand on the car’s hood and my right hand on the top of the door and push (pull?) myself up to a stand. luckily, my small suv is much more manageable.

* i learned very young to always be careful when walking into any room i’ve never been in before. i have slammed my head into ceiling fans, lights, and the low part of ceilings when you go up/down stairs more times than i can count. countless times, i assure you. most people walking into someone’s home for the first time notice the couch, art on walls, etc., but not me…i’m looking for concussion-causing items above.

* i don’t have to climb as many ladder rungs as most people do to change a light bulb, check the house gutters for debris, etc. i’ve also never used a step stool in the kitchen that i can remember.

* i was able to ride carnival/fair rides before most of my friends, at an early age.

* shorter men, when standing directly beside me, seem to sometimes get a “napoleon complex”. sometimes they’ll flex or act like an ahole to me. that one always weird’s me out. i know it’s their issue, not mine, but still…grow the fuck up and be comfortable in your skin. mental health issues are covered in most health insurance policies.

* taking showers is very uncomfortable. the shower head always hits me at my abdomen. washing my hair requires moves from cirque du soleil. in my master bath remodel 12 years ago, i had him make the shower head very, very high up. it doesn’t affect anyone shorter and gives me my only pleasant shower experience i’ve ever had.

* washing dishes hurts my back tremendously. sinks are built very low (to me). i have to take “hurting back breaks” when i hand wash dishes. the top dishwasher shelf is ok, but i have to crouch way down for the dishes onthe lower shelf. twice. loading and unloading. when i hit the lottery, i might invest in building homes for taller people 🙂

* as with so many taller people, i’ve had constant back pain issues since my 20’s.

* thankfully, i’m not tall enough for people to say stupid crap to me like “how’s the weather up there?”.

* for a long time…before they changed them…i was always taller than the height strip in convenience stores at the exit door (for them to help describe a robber to police). if i every robbed a store with a height strip and the police asked “about how tall was he?” the clerk would have to say “taller than the strip” lol

that’s all i can think of right now, but will update when i remember other stuff.

please comment below if you have any issues with being tall.

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