"There is nothing I love more than air-conditioning.  Walking inside an air-conditioned room from a 95 degree afternoon is the greatest panacea I've ever found.  Sometimes though, I come in from the heat only to find an oscillating fan recirculating the misery.  This is the difference between the love I feel from him and the love I feel from her.  His love is cathartic and she doesn't even have the decency to oscillate."  –Allen McNulty

So, I went off of Chantix too soon….or….I’m weak and was unsuccessful. Either way, my opinion is that Chantix is right for me, so I’ll definitely use it again when I’m ready to try to quit smoking again. I’m very frustrated with myself right now. I was doing so well. fml

I think I stopped taking Chantix too soon (I took it for 7 weeks), because I’m going to start smoking again. Next time I try it, I’ll either do the full 12 weeks or the 24-week run. I really did try this time. I hope I try again.

I don’t know how quitting Chantix affects others, but this is what I’ve experienced:

1. A few days after I weaned myself off of Chantix, I began craving cigarettes very strongly. After a couple of weeks some of the cravings are more intense (Chantix contains no nicotine, so I’d already gone through the heavy nicotine withdrawals). I don’t know what this means, but it’s what I’ve been experiencing. I’ve actually been close to smoking again, but that could just be my own failed attempt and not a Chantix withdrawal. I don’t know what’s going on yet.

2. My thoughts come in patches, instead of a normal flow. I have to stop and start my sentences when speaking, due to forgetting what I was saying. Not a normal “forgot where I was” kind of thing, but my mind goes blank in the middle of a sentence. The next word, the next sentence, the continued thought…simply stops. Randomly, suddenly, and frequently. All day and night. If the thought or story was simple and quick, I had no problem. Answering a question or replying to a comment on Facebook, for example, was easy. If someone called and asked a question that required a simple, short answer…then I had no problem. For me and my communicative personality, this has been a scary side-effect. Today, however, I noticed my synapses firing a bit better. I was able to express myself (almost) normally for much of the day. I’m praying that this is a sign that the proverbial fog is lifting.

Weaning myself off of Chantix. Stopped taking any as of yesterday. Paying close attention to my behavior. Explaining things in short sentences for some reason. Still smoke-free since 12/12/10.