I couldn’t stop staring at the checkout guy’s wildly protruding nose hair. I fantasized that it was evil and that each strand attacked me. Then I thought that was trite. I mean, of course it would attack you. So I took a different point of view and fantasized that a bunch of kids fell into the water and each strand was able reach out and save all the children’s lives. I wanted to see what happened next, but the words “Is plastic ok?” knocked me out of my daydream.