Quit date was 12/12/2010. I’m now over two weeks smoke-free! (and I haven’t even cheated once. promise.)

The cravings are subsiding, but still get incredibly strong ones. A few times they felt overbearing, but since I had no cigarettes here at the house, I couldn’t cheat. Urge went away quickly enough, though, so I didn’t get in my car and drive to the store.

Also…it’s not the Chantix anymore (I’m thinking about stopping taking it) since it just controls the nicotine receptor for when I smoke. Since I’m not smoking or cheating, it makes no sense to continue taking it. I do love the vivid dreams and will miss them! I’ll check the literature first to see when/how/why to stop taking Chantix (taper off? continue until I’ve finished what I have? etc…)

I’ve never gone a day without smoking for over 28 years. Maybe one time when I was sick, but I don’t recall. I am now on Day 4 of not smoking. I haven’t even cheated with sneaking a drag when nobody was around. Completely smoke-free for 4 days. I want a cigarette as much as ever, though…and that makes me very nervous.

My weight remains the same, oddly. I was beginning to think my digital scale was broken, but then I lost a pound yesterday (which is strange, since I’ve cheated on my diet twice this week). I have an appt. with my doc soon, so I’ll see what their scales say then.

QUITE DATE: 12/12/2010

A couple of years ago I tried Chantix to help me try to quit smoking. Oddly, it almost worked. I say “almost” because I only took it to see what it would do to me, with no real desire to quit at that time. I got down from about a pack-a-day to two cigarettes a day, which lasted for three months. When I stopped taking Chantix, those two cigs I was still smoking started tasting wonderful again and I fell back into a pack-a-day.

So…I’m trying again. This time, however, with an actual intent of quitting. Unfortunately, I’m back in the same pattern again. For 2 weeks now, I’m smoking those same two cigarettes a day at the exact same times and pattern I did before. If I can stop those two, I’ll have a real chance of quitting…but if I can’t stop the two, then I’m screwed again.

I’m 44 and have been smoking since I was 16. At a pack-a-day, I’ve smoked about 205,000 cigarettes so far. Jesus Tap-Dancing Christ.

Also fueling the fire is the fact that my blood sugars went bonkers the past few months and I’m now on diet and insulin every day to get me back on track with my Type2 diabetes. The severely reduced carbs might be keeping the obligatory 10-30 pound weight gain that comes with quitting smoking, since I’m at the exact same weight since I started this.

What a roller-coaster ride…