Anita Bryant Pie In Face



don’t buy a blu-ray player (buy a ps3 instead)

using bestbuy.com as a reference, i searched for blu-ray players and the cheapest ones are 399.99. the sony playstation 3 video game system, however, also has a blu-ray player included and its cost is also 399.99.

although i don’t play many playstation games, buying a blu-ray player with a gaming system for the same price seemed only logical. the quality is superb (yes, it goes up to 1080p and 1080i) and, in case you didn’t already know this, it also plays non-bluray dvd’s.

Sony PlayStation 3 40GB System

Bush’s Last Day (Show Your Anticipation!)

You’ve gotta’ love the “Bush’s Last Day” throw pillow. I’m buying one for grandma!

bush sucks

Google Provides Free 411 Service

i hate getting hit with a 411 surcharge on my cell phone, so i was happy to find this little nugget. instead of dialing “411″ for information, dial “1-800-GOOG-411″.

according to their video, if your phone has internet access you can also get a map of the neighborhood around the business you’re looking up.

most importantly, it’s free.

I Can’t Wait To Buy One

How To Launch Your Own Domain Name and Blog

people ask me how to get their own domain name and start their own blog and here’s what i tell them:

1. to get your own blog, there are tons of free blog sites out there. you can google them easily. the problem with the free blogs is the advertising and censorship (if they don’t like what you posted then they can delete you without warning). so…i recommend setting up your own domain and blog.

2. it’s actually very easy. not just because i know how to do it but because others have told me they figured it out quickly and painlessly. personally, i prefer Dotster

Don’t let all the different options confuse you. Just get the cheapest Linux plan and a wordpress blog (like this one) is included. the learning curve you’ll have to go through is learning about bandwidth (everytime someone visits your site it uses bandwidth and subtracts from your allowed bandwidth useage for the account plan you’ve chosen. i suggest getting the cheapest plan and then upgrading if you see that your site is very popular and using more bandwidth than you first thought would be utilized.

after setting up your account and blog, just explore through your blog’s admin section. there are lots of functions that you can use (or not) and posting your first blog entry is as easy as typing it and hitting “publish”.

note: when you buy a domain name you have to renew the domain name each year. if you choose not to renew (and they give you several reminders months in advance of expiration), then you don’t have to. it’s a great investment, however, as you can then get your emails at you@yourdomainname.com and just have it forwarded to your isp. this is a good thing because if you move or change isp’s you don’t have to tell everyone to change your email address…you just go in and change your forwarding address to your new isp and nobody knows any different.

some more details on domain names at wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Domain_name

Dotster has some great help files as well.

Groceries At Amazon.com?

i thought everyone knew that amazon offers groceries (bulk) for sale on their site, but when i’ve mentioned it to people they say they never realized. the catch (if you want to call it that) is that they sell in bulk, so if you want a box of kellogg’s cereal you have to buy a large quantity of them. sort of the “online costco”?

they seem to have really taken off with their organic foods section and eco-friendly household products, so if “organic and green” is your deal then you’ll definitely like their selections.

they usually have some very good sales (that change pretty often) so if you’re interested, here’s the direct link to the groceries sale page:

Groceries On Sale At Amazon - Click Here

Bush’s Last Day!

Something “Green” For My Home: Bamboo Floors

While doing a remodel of my home, I wanted to do something “green” (earth-friendly) for my home. I did some of the easy things like replace my old thermostats with digital ones (this one act has saved me a buttload of money on my electric bill!), and replaced all standard light bulbs with compact fluorescent (CFL) bulbs. I also made sure all of my appliances had an Energy Star rating.

A bigger ticket item was to replace two carpeted rooms with hardwood. Instead of regular hardwood, I chose bamboo. The reasons: 1. It’s a renewable resource*. 2. The cost was the same as a high-end hardwood. 3. It’s beautiful. *Bamboo grows back (very quickly) after being cut.

I wonder if my tiny part will help out future generations?

capitalizing

I think it’s funny how upset people get when I don’t capitalize. I mean, it really pisses them off. I find, however, it’s usually people who spend most of their days trying to feel superior to others. Seriously. Go check. Ask someone with good self-esteem if it bothers them and then ask these grammar police. My findings are those with good grammar and good self-esteem simply don’t give a fuck, whereas the pedantic ones become huffy and argumentative about the topic. go test it out and then watch my theory come to fruition.

People Always Ask Me About Geek Stuff…

…And here are my answers (with an important preface)…

My answers can change and I’ll do my darndest to update with any changes. The reasons my answers can change is because technology changes, needs change, companies go bad, software becomes unethical, and many more. These recommendations are only of things I own (or have owned) and although I’ve had great results your results may vary. Probably the most important difference between what I review and pro sites review, is that I don’t include the cost of the item in my consideration. Not that price shouldn’t be a concern, but if you spent 25% less on a piece of crap, you have more money in your pocket but you now lost money on a piece of crap. Save your money, google for coupons, wait for sales and then buy something quality. If I think a less expensive item works as well as (or better than) a more expensive version, then I’ll list the cheaper one. That said, here you go:

Q. What anti-virus software should I get? A. Kaspersky Anti-Virus.

Q. What wireless router is best? A. Linksys Wireless-N Router. This thing goes through levels of floors in a home, allows simultaneous gaming and downloading of videos on different computers at the same time without any slow-down. Even goes through my concrete walls with an outstanding ping for gaming.

Q. I’d like to make a backup copy of my music CD onto my computer, in case the CD ever gets damaged, I’d like to convert my CD’s to MP3, etc. What CD-ripping software should I use? A. Free Rip. It’s free. I’ve used it for so many years that I forked out the $20.00 for the Pro version as a “thank you” (and for the upgraded features :)

Q. What mouse should I buy? A. Logitech G5 Laser Mouse. It’s not cordless (I hate cordless … having to constantly charge it or replace batteries … what a nightmare that became!). I’m not real fond of the graphic design on the top but that doesn’t matter since I found the mouse is awesome and I never really look at the thing anyway.

Q. What Nintendo Wii game should we buy next? A. Wario Smooth Moves. This game is fun, unique, easy to figure out, clever, cute, and has some very challenging levels that are very funny.

Q. What Xbox 360 game should we buy next? A. Overlord. To date, this is my favorite game of all time on any video game system. You choose to be a good or evil Overlord, then gather and control minions to do your bidding and fighting. I haven’t played the online section of it, so I can’t comment on online play.

Q. What PlayStation 3 game should I get? A. Ratchet & Clank Future: Tools of Destruction. Unfortunately, their game selection sucks right now (as did Xbox when they debuted), but this game has the most awesome and unique weapons I’ve ever seen.

the west wing

i don’t praise a whole lot, because i’m bitter and jaded. just kidding…and you’re an awesome person for reading this! :)

i hate most tv shows, especially daytime tv, but i do find myself addicted to some of the cartoon shows like family guy, south park, and frisky dingo. i lose myself in them and i need that. with the exception of documentaries and a few select dramas, the rest is just crap for the empty masses. i especially detest shows that you have to keep watching every day or week to find out what happens next. give me closure, goddammit!

netflix, a dvd rental company, was a brilliant idea and i joined them in their infancy. this is where i discovered, among other brilliant dvd’s, “the west wing” tv series. i remembered aaron sorkin, the director and writer of “the west wing”, from a unique show that had a brief run called “sport’s night”. it was an eclectic show with excellent writing and a unique approach at directing, so when i saw his name on “the west wing” i gave it a whirl.

after watching a few episodes, i thought it was ok but nothing grabbed me. the first episode hit close to home (my pink one), but much immediately followed. since it was the winter of my discontent in seattle, i watched a few more episodes to give it one more chance. i’m glad i did. i’m so glad i did, that i’m going to give a praise that i don’t think i’ve given in over a decade…aaron sorkin is probably the greatest writer and director of the 21st century. the century’s just beginning, but he’s going to be hard to beat.

what a pleasure it was to watch the characters form and find their voices. i can’t help but wonder if others enjoyed watching that transpire as much as i did. then when the story development kicked in, i couldn’t stop watching. i had to make myself stop putting in the next dvd and get some sleep. absolutely brilliant.

then a strange thing happened around season four (or five?). i noticed that the passion had left, the characters became mundane and predictable, and the writing left me empty. i kept watching each episode, waiting for stella to get her groove back, but it never happened. i got up and went to the web to see if others were writing in their blogs about this and found out that sorkin had left and someone else had taken over. that’s how noticeably brilliant his writing and direction were.

he has a new show out, “studio 60″, but i’m not seeing his talent in this one yet. regardless, i strongly encourage anyone reading this to watch “the west wing” (up to when aaron leaves the show, of course :) it’s very rare that i will buy a dvd, but i now own the entire west wing series.

sweepstakes? wtf?

entering sweepstakes has been a side hobby of mine for about 17 years. no, not that crappy clearing house one, but actual sweepstakes that people can (and do) win. i’ve won so many prizes to date that i couldn’t possibly list them all. trips to disney, shirts, electronics, gift cards, you name it. i wish i had the time to do more of them, as it gives me some weird thrill. sort of like the lottery, where my friends make fun of me. my favorite line was “allen, you crack me up. you genuinely believe that you’re going to win, but then you’re genuinely suprised that you didn’t”. yep.

for the sweepsatakes newbie, let me give you the easy version in case you want to take a crack at it. the cost is very minimal….just the price of an envelope, a 3×5 card, and a stamp and you’re entered! here’s how it works…

every company from pepsi to your local store seems to offer some type of sweepstakes drawing for cash and/or prizes. the cost of these things are not only promotional advertising for them but is also a tax write-off (per se) for all the incurred costs to them for the promo. all the big guys (i’ll continue to use pepsi as an example since everyone’s familiar with them) uses what’s called a “third party judging agency”. this simply means that they pay an outside company to be objective by running the sweepstakes, randomly picking the winners from all entries, and then getting the prizes out to those winners. the logic here is that the sponsoring company keeps the whole thing as objective as possible and their hands aren’t in the proverbial cookie jar.

the law is that in order to offer a sweepstakes, it’s illegal for them to require you to make a purchase of their product to enter (i’ll assume that most of you have heard the term “no purchase necessary” when a sweepstakes commercial hits the tv stations?). so…if there is no purchase necessary, then what’s the alternative to enter the sweepstakes? easy…they want you to jump through a couple of hoops to enter the sweepstakes. about 99% of the time they want you to write your name, address, phone no., and birthdate on a 3×5 card (a pack of 100 is about 60 cents) and mail to them in a stamped envelope. for every sweepstakes, there must be rules and inside of those rules is the alternate entry information on what they want specifically. or….to make it easier just do what i (and almost all other sweepstakesaholics do) and get a subscription to one of the newsletters that gives you the list of sweepstakes and entry instructions in an easy to read/understand format. one of my favorites is the “best sweepstakes newsletter“. the only real rule of thumb is to follow the rules to the letter or your entry is disqualified. nothing difficult, but they are unforgiving from what i understand.

on a side note: even those “peel n’ win” prize pieces that are on cups and fries at mcdonald’s, taco bell, etc. must have “no purchase necessary” instructions. those are usually an address to send a self-addressed stamped envelope (SASE) to and get free game pieces mailed back to you.

anyhoo…the entry arrives at the judging agency and then, when it’s time for the drawing, a random entry (or entries) are drawn. if you won something of real value, then they will notify you by certified or registered mail and request that you complete, notarize, and send back their form and affidavit. this doesn’t mean you’ve won yet, until they check you out to make sure you’re not a relative of an employee of that company, etc. if you haven’t broken any rules, they’ll send you your prize (which can take anywhere from days to months to receive). if it’s a smaller prize like i usually win, you’ll never know you won until the prize just shows up on your doorstep one day.

there are more details and caveats but that’s the foundation to get you started. if you decide to give it a try, please remember me if you hit big (and forget me if you suffer from the same addiction as the rest of us :)

i was porn in the usa (part one)

yes, i own a porn company.

during my journeys, this discovery gets a medley of reactions. while most are intrigued, some become bambi in headlights and excuse themselves from my presence. the intrigued ones typically start emerging themselves into a barrage of questions about my work. everyone pretty much asks all the same questions and i don’t mind answering them as long as i’m in the mood to do it, since it never turns out to be a short conversation and i don’t always have the time or energy. when i do field questions, they’re usually surprised at how boring some of it really is. i mean, it’s work…accounting, paperwork (lots and lots of paperwork), employees, contract labor, laws that seem to change daily, visits from law enforcement, expensive attorneys, right wing attacks, countless hours in front of an editing machine, and so much more. of course, in between all of that, there are nude people in front of me having sex….but most seem to tune out until i get to that part :)

i was extremely fortunate to have gotten on the web when there weren’t very many of us on it yet. this gave me an edge over the masses, especially when i met the owner of an adult video company who told me that i could make money by sending people to his site. in the days before (what we now call) spam, this was simple. horny guys who saw my affiliate link clicked on it, bought porn, and then the company sent me a check once a month. my first check from them for only half a month was about $3000.00. i was in shock and just knew it was going to bounce, but it cleared without issue. each month, the checks got bigger. now you have to understand something here…i had never seen that amount of money in my life. not in such a short amount of time for doing very little work (i.e. sitting at a computer) and i was hooked. i kept teaching myself web design and eventually began learning how to do simple scripts, which increased my affiliate link’s exposure and my impatience for that big check in the mail.

but…what goes up must come down. sort of.

suddenly more and more people were jumping on board the “information superhighway”, which caused others like me to begin their own porn affiliate venture. this was the beginning of the onslaught of which we’re all now aware. porn had saturated the web and countless thousands wanted their piece of the proverbial porn pie.

these bastards (teehee) started nipping at my income like a rabbid squirrel on his last nut and i had to do something. fast.

i looked at every angle inside and outside the box. analyzing, overanalyzing, beating dead horses, etc., until i decided that the company i was pimping traffic for had something i didn’t. content. i would soon discover that i needed that too.

during all of this, i got a part-time job at an adult video store to see if i could get any insider information, but the owner kept everything secret. all i could do was observe what was selling on my shifts.

while sitting behind the counter one night, i began to notice how intimidated most people were to buy porn (especially if it was something like transsexual videos) and how seemingly embarassed they were to bring it up to the counter to pay for it. i remember thinking that there had to be some way for me to put the porn on my website and then let them just order it through the mail from me. i just figured that they could mail me an order form and a check or money order and then i’d buy the video for them and discreetly mail it to them (credit card processing didn’t exist back then for the average joe).

this revelation (almost an epiphany) spawned what was to become the caveat to where i am today. but wait, is it really that easy to sell or make porn? i mean, there was certainly nobody to ask how to do this…no “how to make and sell porn for dummies” book, nothing in the library. just me, my instincts, my analytical skills, and my creativity.

i received zero support from the friends i told, except one (thanks jo ann!) she loaned me some start up money (about a thousand dollars i think). since i spent all my money i was earning and had nothing to show for it, i couldn’t afford this new endeavor. she believed in me and that i could build something massive and loaned me the money without question or a time-frame to pay her back. although i had a good idea what my next steps would be, i certainly had no clue how long it would take to make a profit and pay her back. she new and understood this, so that pressure was off my shoulders.

after exhausting my brain trying to process how one would go about shooting a porn video (remember…porn videos were just these things with no origin that sat on the shelves at adult bookstores), i decided it was finally time to stop thinking and start shooting, knowing that some trial and error would do me good. i’m the type who definitely learns from his mistakes and fortunes, so a porn shootin’ i went!

continued in part two

i’m gay

there. i’m officially and globally out of the closet.

something geek

one of my pet projects (yet another thing i have no time for) is my geek-ish blog, called groovy or not.

my intent was to do a video blog (vlog) of stuff i use, own, or test out…but it’s just way too much time to do right, so i devote a bit of time to it when i can.

a few pics

allen at the porn expo in seattle
allen at a porn expo in seattle

allen on a segway
allen riding a segway in seattle

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